It’s been eons since my last post..

Living in Singapore was truly a dream come true. The country, as such, is such a beautiful yet disciplined place where the thought of going for a walk at 12 am was a possibility without overthinking about safety. Truly a place I am going to miss after I move..

However,like ants on rice, so many events took place that I dont even know where to start! The most important and best event that happened to me is motherhood :).

I look into his cute little eyes and I thank God for handing over this tiny human to me to call as my own. Never did I think I would be ready.. Never did I realize the privilege of being his mother.. So many decisions were made over the course of 2 years that I never thought would come to fruition so soon.

Of course if I had known about the labour pain beforehand, I don’t think he would have existed. Ever. It truly was a traumatic experience. But, the end result was worth the pain and suffering. To hold him and to call him my own is an honour that can never be taken for granted.

This is for you, Vihaan..

The moment I laid eyes on you, i was mesmerized by your tiny size. Despite being scared out of my mind, lying on the operation table with my guts outside, the only thought that ran through my head was your safety and well being.. pale and pink, I kissed your face and touched your head promising myself that I’ll be there for every step you take in your life. For every mistake, I hope to catch you. For every joy, I hope to experience it alongside. For every disappointment, I hope to help you overcome. Mainly, I hope for your good health amongst them all.

It’s scary. The power you hold over my head. Every tiny wail I come running to check. Every smile you bestow upon me, etches you deeper within my heart (if it’s even possible :O ). Your 5 inch hand has me running in circles around you.. that’s how much you mean to me, my tiny boy…

Love you to the moon and back.

By : Swathitha Vasudev

It started out slowly… kind of like how the sun light filters into the morning air bringing forth a new beginning. In a way, I adapted immediately to this life unknowingly. 

Being a homemaker, frankly, was never something I aspired to, as I always had something up my sleeve.. However, I should give credit to my mother and tons of females/males out there who are one: homemaker. Many people are of the opinion that it is easy. Unfortunately, I was one of those oblivious people. Every night, now, I fall asleep dead on my feet. It certainly doesn’t help that I am a clean freak, which necessitates me to clean the house everyday 🙈. 

Of course, there are perks in every job and being able to cook, clean and ensure everything is done at your own pace is one. It took me a while to adjust to this living. 

I had felt a certain sense of pride at being independant the moment I started to earn. It scared me though… once you experience that, it’s hard to let it go as you start being dependant on another. 

Initially, I felt it slide away piece by piece. It distressed me, and it certainly did not help when others kept asking me why I wasn’t employed yet. At times, I wondered whether I was losing my identity. 

Until I realized I was letting my profession or lack thereof, to be my identity. My doubts and distress faded. It made me realize what you do for a living does not define you. You as a person is what defines you. My choices are my own. I may decide to be a homemaker forever or I may start work and become more career oriented. Who knows?

Yet, for now, I am happy to be given the privilege of choosing what i want to do. As a truly grateful person, I hope to never take what I have and done for granted.. 

By : Swathitha Vasudev

Apartments. Houses. Studios. HDB. A variety of places up for rent. These are just a few bandpicked places that I visited  over the course of two weeks. Its hard to settle on a place despite the facilities and perks made available by the landlord. The system here is completely  different from the system in India.

Its a time consuming job and I truly appreciate the work and effort put in by the real estate agents. However, as luck would have it, we found a good place. The place is a true gold mine. A rough diamond that needs to be truly polished to showcase its brilliance. I just hope that I can make it happen. We shall probably shift next month end and I sort of feel like Gollum from the Lord of the Rings sequel, waiting to get a hold of the place as soon as possible. We don’t know if this situation is temporary or long term, but whether it is here or anywhere, I just truly want it to become a home… 

By- Swathitha. Vasudev

They say the honeymoon phase of your married life is the best.. And to make the maximum out of it, as after that, life would play in a monotonous manner. I heard that and I was dubious. Can it truly fall into that? Would life become boring after a few years? Will routine take precedence over excitement? While I truly do not want that, the answer of course, yes. 

After which, there will be multiple routes opening up and it depends on which one you take to make the relationship worthwhile. While the excitement might fade, it can be replaced with serenity. Solitude with companionship. As emotions and phases evolve, everything gets replaced with a better one… 

I guess what scared the crap out of me once, has now become something I am looking forward to now. 🙂 

Crazy isn’t it? One year ago, my life was moving in a very different path and now?  Even more contrasting.. Good or bad, it’s quite a rollercoaster ride and am happily buckled in for the remainder of my ride. 

By: Swathitha.  Vasudev 

Mumbling under the coverlet, I felt like death had warmed over. “Get up! Get up and have your soup….” Blearily, in response,my movements dull due to the flu, I awoke. Like a nurse, she stood over me, hands folded and eyebrows raised. Despite groaning and growling at her, a part of me loved her more.

I have two elder brothers. Even though I was the only girl, I never felt the absence of a sister. Having closely grown up with a few cousin sisters, it was a feeling I never experienced. One of them is happy and content with a beautiful baby boy while the other just recently got engaged!!

This one is for her :). She is the true epitome of a woman… Like a pendulum, she can ensure to be the life of a party and at the same time hover beside ur bedside in case you need her. A kind soul. I can promise you that it would be hard to find another with that amount of kindness in her. Before my wedding, we spent time together. More than the usual amount. It made me realize to never take relationships for granted. Let it be your father, mother, brother or even a cousin sister. Each relationship is a different bond designed to be harnessed and cherished rather than to be taken for granted.

So, from one sister to another, with love and happiness, I wish her Congratulations.

BY: Swathitha Vasudev

Cooking. Laundry. Cleaning. Seems monotonous doesn’t it? But being a clean freak means you got to get to it every single day. Else, my brain does not function. I keep thinking that has to be done, this has to be done etc etc… Never did I truly understand “Housework”… And I don’t think one will actually get it until you get your own apartment and take upon the duties by yourself.

Yes, I helped around when I lived with my folks. Who wouldn’t? However, that was partial responsibility, but now it’s complete responsibility. Any spare time I get once, I snooze, because its just so darn tiring… Presently, I am a home maker (I’d rather use that term than a housewife, kind of seems a bit more lowly.. I don’t know why).

Living in a different city, different country … My entire lifestyle has taken a 180 degree turn. But then, I knew that was going to happen before my wedding. However, you can truly never be ready until you experience it. Once you are thrust into it, there is no turning back. There is a sense of peace to this change too… I believe there are different phases of life that one has to pass through.. We cannot be stuck in one phase for the rest of our lives. If not, we wouldn’t have fully lived. But that’s just my point of view. Everyone has different views and I respect them as well.. Nonetheless, this is mine.

Arranged marriage.. That happened. 🙂 And it was the best leap of faith I ever took. He has become everything to me now. I did not expect such a relationship, for my past hadn’t always been sunshine and rainbows. But things change. My life changed. Shitty became amazing… Life puts you through a variety of ups and downs and I’m keeping my fingers crossed as I am in my “up” time!

It had been a while, and I thought of just putting it out there on my blog. I may not be that regular with my articles but I do not want to let go of something that pulled me out of a bad time : writing.

By: Swathitha Vasudev.

Ms to Mrs…

 

And it’s done. Feels completely surreal.. The reality of my situation hit home only when I said bye to my folks at the airport. Suffice to say, I was a basket case. However, change is always going to be scary. The scary aspect arises from the uncertainty from not knowing the known. In my case though, and I am definitely biased, I’d say that my leap of faith was not mislead at all. It was the best decision I ever made. Frankly, I always assumed that I’d end up having a love marriage. But, it just proves the point that you’ll never know what is going to occur 24 hrs later. The future is never set in stone.

Weeks later, I am sitting within a foreign surrounding in a foreign country. While I miss my routine, parents, friends and even my broken down cupboard back in India, I am also excited about the array of opportunities and chances that has been opened up onto my pathway. Of course, I still haven’t yet decided which field to pursue a job nor do I know the way around my own neighborhood presently, but those are just minor things that can be put aside when you think about the big picture.

I hope my enthusiasm doesn’t fizzle out soon. Right at this moment, I have nothing to go on about other than hope and faith.. As they have never led me astray before, I think I’d just go with the flow and await for my next tiny adventures… 😉

By: Swathitha Vasudev

 

 

The paint fumes, heat and the stacked cardboard boxes.. Literally, the life I have been experiencing for the past two weeks. I guess this post would just be a rant about my surroundings for the moment.. 😛

But seriously, with the passage of time, the fact that my impending wedding is soon approaching has become unavoidable. There are times, I just sit and think how it would be? The pampering I’d received at home, my individual space etc would all be compromised.. I wonder is it necessary to move into this new strange phase? But then again, it hits me.. I don’t want to live the same routine that I have been living for the past five years either. So, even though the future is unpredictable and scary, the notion has started to get me excited. I shall miss my present lifestyle, cousins, family and of course, friends. Things will change and you have to let go of certain things.

Its hard but I guess it all boils down to a leap of faith 🙂 … and that’s what I gotta do…

 

By. Swathitha vasudev

 

A text message came through. Ignoring it, she slouched in front of a laptop reading a book intensely. Another text pinged. Turning, she pulled her phone and unlocked the phone. Uninterested she glanced the message. Stunned she reread the message a couple of more times. Straightening, she strode to her room as she simultaneously pressed a few keys on her phone.

As the line disconnected immediately, she knew it to be true. It felt unreal.. The boy that she had met and grown to really like and respect had passed away on a bike accident.

Him and his friend, had come to the office as interns. She and him had  had a good rapport which in turn grew into an easy going meaningful friendship, as he reminded her of her younger cousin brother. His viewpoints and childishness were quite endearing in an innocent manner. Disbelievingly, she shook her head to straighten her thoughts as she made plans with another colleague to go to the funeral home…

The moment they turned into his street the next day, his folks and friends’ wails pierced through the air. A certain sense of gloominess clouded that area. With flowers in hand to keep beside the body, she moved closer. As soon as the vision of his unmoving, white clad body came within eye sight, a sense of overwhelming sadness consumed her. So much to live for and he hadn’t even completed his degree to start his career. A depressing set of events that led to his death, a situation that cannot even be blamed on anyone other than unforeseeable circumstances. Passing her condolences, she hurried from there, her heart heavy with sorrow and pity.

With time, they say it gets better. However, occasionally, she sees a similar bike as his on the road, and a sudden nostalgic memory takes over and it hits her all over again … But, it is with joy that she had met a nice, sweet  chap who deserves to be remembered for the person he was rather than his loss …

 

By: Swathitha. Vasudev